Value Silence & Uncertainty

Have you ever been in a situation where a question was asked and you were not able to answer it immediately? Have you ever reacted to a situation that may have led to a negative result because you didn’t take the time to analyze the big picture issue?

This happens much more than it should because we always put this pressure on ourselves that an immediate answer or solution is required. It helps you sound smart. It makes it seem like you know the answer to everything. It makes you seem perfect. When we chase perfection, we expect to be the best. The issue is that perfection has no wiggle room. Perfection does not allow for mistakes. So, when mistakes happen, an excessive amount of negative stress is placed on individuals.

Obviously, in sports, there are moments where it is necessary for those immediate responses. Athletes need to have the ability to analyze a situation quickly to put themselves and their teammates in a position to win games. This is a skill that can separate the great athletes from the good. But this skill is not gained through perfection. Many bumps and roadblocks need to be dealt with when reaching this level of experience and performance.

Athletes who don’t know the answer or don’t know how to respond to questions or challenges struggle to perform at a high level. The negative connotation to awkward silence due to not having an answer to a question is detrimental to a learning experience. Uncertainty, or the fear of saying “I don’t know” will always limit an athlete from being themselves in competition. My goal with all my athletes is to eliminate this feeling and help them rise to the top.

• Response vs reaction

  • Responding instead of reacting is one talking point I have with teams and athletes I work with. A reaction is to answer an action of something or someone with an immediate action of your own. This can be irresponsible and complicate the process to a solution. I encourage my athletes to avoid reactions and seek responses. Responding is utilizing the appropriate skills to pause and analyze the situation for the most appropriate answer or solution. For example, there are going to be ideas and methods of training that my athletes may not always agree with, or have questions about. But it is my job to put them in a position to trust what I do and build a mutual respect. If an athlete disagrees with the way I teach an exercise and they disregard me, then a reaction would be to kick them out or to ignore them completely. In my head, a silent moment would make me feel less in control. Now, training becomes a waste of time. A response from me would be to understand why they don’t agree with it. Silence allows me to analyze and ask myself, “what if the only reason they disagree is because they were not taught that way previously?” Then my reaction created unnecessary conflict. My response can help me provide a better message to the athlete on why my way of teaching the exercise is similar. If I believe my way is more beneficial, then I should provide the reasons why.

• Mistakes are okay

  • Another talking point I have with teams, especially new athletes, is that making a mistake is okay. Everyone is afraid to make mistakes because they don’t want to be wrong. I believe our most beneficial growth comes from making mistakes and learning from them. Me encouraging a response of “I don’t know” is going to be more beneficial than having my athletes avoid questions to better understand a situation. I prefer their feelings of uncertainty exist with me in training or practice, than in a championship competition. Make mistakes, learn from them, then move forward. Making mistakes becomes a negative experience when you make the same mistakes over and over. That is when mistakes are unacceptable to me. That becomes a waste of time for practice and training, and more time losing in games/competitions.

I will always encourage a continuous learning environment and an atmosphere of being comfortable doing the uncomfortable.